| Pair of glasses |
A pair of glasses walks into to a pub
He asked the bar man for a drink.
and the bar man replies.
I am not serving you ,your Read Joke | |
| Locked in |
At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens.
"It opens at noon," answers the cle Read Joke | |
| Classic Bar One Liners |
Jesus Christ walks into a bar. He hands the bartender three nails, and asks “Can you put me up for the night?”
Two peanuts Read Joke | |
| Extremely Drunk |
A man, whose level of
drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to
leave a bar and fell flat on his face.
"May Read Joke | |
| Can I Smell Something |
A guy goes into a
bar and seats himself next to a hot looking woman. After a
few drinks he musters the courage to talk to Read Joke | |
| All Lawyers
are Assholes |
A guy in a bar stands up and says, "All
lawyers are assholes."
Another guy stands
up and says "Hey...I resent that..." Read Joke | |
| 5 Stages of Being Drunk |
Stage 1 -
SMART
This is when you suddenly become
an expert on every subject in the known Universe.
You know eve Read Joke | |
| $1000 Competition |
The local bar was so
sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that
they offered a standing $1000 bet.
The
Read Joke | |
| Alcoholic Side Effects |
The FDA is
considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol
bottles, such as:
WARNING: consumption of
alcohol ma Read Joke | |
| All You Can Drink |
A man walks into
a bar, sits down on a bench and orders a cold one. He
swigs down the beer, looks in his pocket, cringes a Read Joke | |
| A Round
For The House |
A drunk walks into a bar and says,
"Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour
yourself one, and give me the bill. Read Joke | |
| What You Got |
A man goes into a bar
and seats himself on a stool.
The bartender
looks at him and says, "What'll it be
buddy?"
Read Joke | |
| Beer Festival |
After the Great Britain
Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents
decided to go out for a beer.
The guy from Read Joke | |
| Deaf Men in a Bar |
A man was sitting in a
bar and noticed a group of people using sign language. He
also noticed that the bartender was using Read Joke | |
| Best
Reasons to Allow Drinking on the Job |
1. It's an incentive
to show up.
2. It reduces
stress.
3. It leads to more honest
communications.
4. It reduc Read Joke | |
| Deadbeat in a Bar |
A man walked into a bar
on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the
bartender asked him if he wanted a drink, a Read Joke | |
| Evils of
Liquor |
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his fifth
grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he
produced an exper Read Joke | |
| Finding
The Car |
A drunken man was wondering around the
parking lot of a bar, bumping into then rubbing the roofs
of the cars.
The mana Read Joke | |
| Stages of
Drunkeness |
0 - Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as an
army bayonet.
1 - Still sober. Pleasure senses
activated. Feeling of well-be Read Joke | |
| Pirate's Misfortunes |
A pirate was talking to
a "land-lubber" in a bar. The land-lubber noticed that, like
any self-respecting pirate, this guy Read Joke | |
| State Of
The Art Watch |
A rather confident man walks into a bar
and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives
her a quick glance, the Read Joke | |
| Spent Paycheck |
Wife: Okay, today's
Friday. Where's your pay envelope?
Man: I
already spent all my pay. I bought something for the
Read Joke | |
| Sotally Tober |
Starkle starkle little
twink
who the hell you are I think
I'm not
under what you call
the alcofluence of
incohol
I Read Joke | |
| Signs That You are Too Drunk |
You lose
arguments with inanimate objects.
You have
to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
Y Read Joke | |
| Presents
for the Wife |
Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker
were sitting in a bar talking over a few
drinks.
After a sip of his Martini, Read Joke | |
| Speech
Impediment |
Two life-long friends were enjoying a few
pints down at the local bar, when one said to the
other:
"If I ask you a ques Read Joke | |
| I Thought You Were My Wife |
A completely
inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for
some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked Read Joke | |
| Selling the Wife |
A drunk walked into
a bar crying. One of the other men in the bar asked him
what happened.
"I did a terrible thing,"
Read Joke | |
| The Buffalo
Theory |
The "Buffolo Theory" of Beer..
A
herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest
buffalo. When the herd is hunted, Read Joke | |
| Proud Texan Father |
A Texan bought a
round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had
just produced "a typical Texas baby" weighi Read Joke | |
| Vampires in a Bar |
It's Halloween
and everyone's out trick-or-treating. A bartender is
working the late-night shift at the bar. He looks outs Read Joke | |
| A Chick With Long Legs |
A man
walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he
sits, the bartender asks for their order.
The
man s Read Joke | |
| Glad to be drunk |
A completely
inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one
foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pull Read Joke | |
Random Bar Jokes 
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