Random Quotes Jokes Funny Quotes Jokes
| Last night |
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling. Read Joke | |
| Dog |
What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come. Read Joke | |
| Men |
Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest. Read Joke | |
| Humiliate men |
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.' Read Joke | |
| Life |
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. Read Joke | |
| When I Die |
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car Read Joke | |
| Average Woman |
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think Read Joke | |
| Fine wine |
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. Read Joke | |
| Keep your Health |
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
- Mar Read Joke | |
| Woman |
There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart.
- Melanie Griffith Read Joke | |
| Life |
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Read Joke | |
| Time |
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ...
- Louis Hector Berlioz Read Joke | |
| Dont Know |
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until Read Joke | |
| Go Wrong |
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
- Robert Bloch Read Joke | |
| Writers Quotes |
The difference between
fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Tom
Clancy
I never know what I think about
Read Joke | |
| Work quotes |
The reason why worry kills
more people than work is that more people worry than
work.
Robert Frost
The easiest job in Read Joke | |
| Women Quotes |
Whatever women do
they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as
good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Charlotte Read Joke | |
| Wisdom
Quotes |
Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take
the one I've never tried.
Mae
West
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom
list Read Joke | |
| Politics Quotes |
A good politician is quite
as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
H. L.
Mencken
Run for office? No. I've slept with
Read Joke | |
| Money
Quotes |
Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in
touch with your children.
J. Paul
Getty
A man explained inflation to h Read Joke | |
| Men Quotes |
Why did God create men?
Because vibrators can't mow the
lawn.
Madonna
All men are not
homeless, but some men are h Read Joke | |
| Marriage Quotes |
My wife and I were happy
for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney
Dangerfield
When a man brings his wife
flowers for Read Joke | |
| Marriage Quotes |
My wife and I were
happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney
Dangerfield
When a man brings his wife
flowers for Read Joke | |
| Love Quotes |
I recently read that love is
entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife
treats me like toxic waste.
David
Read Joke | |
| Life Quotes |
To solve the human equation,
we need to add love, subtract hate, multiply good, and
divide between truth and error.
Janet Read Joke | |
| Children Quotes |
The first half of our life is
ruined by our parents and the second half by our
children.
Clarence Darrow
Kids.
The Read Joke | |
| Age
Quotes |
I'm so old they've cancelled my blood
type.
Bob Hope
As you get older three
things happen. The first is your memory go Read Joke | |
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